搞笑英文微電影劇本

㈠ Hi guys 求一英語小劇本，6人表演劇情時間10分鍾左右，以輕松搞笑為主，電視劇電影和小說的劇本隨便，請發

搞笑英語話劇劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》
搞笑5人劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》

演員表：
西門吹雪
葉孤城
花滿樓
打更的太監
旁白
道具：牛奶兩袋，紙屑若干。
第一幕：決戰鄉村陌路
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow.
Birds are dancing in the cold.
A man is walking along the street, step by step.
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches.
打更的太監：The weather is dry and things are flammable, take care not catch the fire! I』m 打醬油的！
Y與X相遇．
X：Ohm, I』m sorry to knock you!
Y: Ha-ha, Never mind baby.
X: Excuse me, Could you tell me your name?
Y: ha ha, I won』t change my name! No matter what happens. I』m the most famous——-YeGucheng（登登登登！！！）. Who are you?
X: I』m ximenchuixue.
Y(驚訝): Ar, ximenchuixue?
X: Yes, what is wrong?
Y: I heard that you are the best Martial Arts?
X: Great, you know me!
Y(抱腿)：Please, please…… Don』t kill me! Let me go!
X: No, I must kill you!
Y: I don』t want to be killed. Let me go!
X: No way! You know?
Y(突然站起冷冷的說)：Don』t force me!
X: Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X(搶過牛奶):Milk, very good! I like drinking it.
Y: Please drink it!
X(喝完牛奶):Thanks, ha-ha
Y: Do you still want to kill me?
X: Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(惱怒+冷酷):Very good! Very good! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X: I』m sure I won』t!
Y: I must give you a lesson! If I don』t beat you this time, I』ll never be having properly! 3-2-1-0
X(捂著肚子，蹲下)：Ouch, Ouch!
Y(大笑)：Ha Ha……
X(可憐狀): Help! Help! Where is the washroom?
Y: What?
X: Toliet?
Y: What?
X: The 「WC」?
Y: Oh, I see, go along this street and turn right when you see a crossing road!
X: Thanks, bye-bye.
Y(掏出紙屑吹):This is genuine snow!
H: Stop! Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!
Y: Who are you?
H: Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y: Yes, he was beaten by me and is in 「WC」 now, ha……
H(驚訝):Now you are the best in the world!
Y: You are right!
H: Teriffic! You are the one I』m looking for! Do you want to join in me?
Y: Yes, It』s very good.
H: Ok, follow me; let』s go!
Y: Ok, Let』s go!
(To be continued…)

㈡ 求簡單英語五人小品劇本，請看清下面的補充要求。在線等，挺急的。

搞笑英語微電影劇本《Whose treat》（英語5人搞笑微電影劇本）
演員：A—— ，B—— ，C—— ，D—— ，旁白——
編劇： 攝影：
後期製作：
插曲：場景一《鈴兒響叮當》場景二《雪絨花》場景三《泰坦尼克號主題曲》場景四《flash》場景五《never say goodbye》或者《字母歌》
道具：一份報紙（最好是英文的），三份試卷（白紙即可），100元，64元找零，布娃娃
（場景一：未定空地____5個人都到， 拍攝）
旁白：One day ，some yang people want to get takeout as their dinner
一天，幾個年輕人想叫外賣吃（直接錄旁白，念完時候鏡頭落在四個人身上）
A: let』s get takeout ,please?（旁白念完直接開始）
B:why not? I like it .（開心，滿足）
C:It's up to you .(看著A）
D:OK,but i have a good idea……(手托下巴，賣關子）
A：go on ，please（請求語氣）
D：we always 」going Dutch 「,.it『s time to enjoy someone』s treat……我們總是AA制，這次找個人請客吧（掃一眼大家，繼續賣關子）
C: but how should we drag the unfortunate? talk to us,please(請求）
D：(笑）OK，OK…….Each of us tell a joke, if not making others laugh, just pay ！
我們每人講一個笑話，如果不能把其他人逗笑，就買單哦。（得意）
A,B,C:good idea!(大家拍手，異口同聲）
A：Let me tell a joke first .the title is」 I'm Glad 「.A school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. 我先講吧，題目是「我很高興」。一個老師正在對學生講使別人高興的重要性。現在，她說
（切到場景二，到一個教室，或有椅子的地方，把笑話表演出來，， 拍）
旁白：Now, she said現在，她說
趙雪：children ，has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?你們當中有誰讓別人高興過？
王鵬：teacher, I've made someone glad yesterday.昨天我就使別人高興過。
趙雪：Well done. Who was that?做得好，是誰呢？
王鵬：My granny.我奶奶。
趙雪：Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.好孩子，現在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的。
王鵬：Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 『Granny, I'm going home,』 and she said, 『Well, I'm glad』！是這樣的，老師。我昨天去看她，在她那兒呆了三個小時。然後我跟她說：『奶奶，我要回家了。』她說：『啊，我很高興！』
（切回場景一，BCD哈哈大笑A見狀很開心，）
A：oh, i got it !我做到了（很開心）
B：yeah，yeah, maybe you just tell your own story .(指著A說完捂嘴笑）
A: I……（要解釋，被B攔下）
B：OK，now ,It's my turn .」a gentle reminder」is the title.Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. 婚後已久，我丈夫往往在一個特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。
(切換場景三，移至餐廳或有椅子的地方， 拍攝，）
B：On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, 在我們結婚35周年紀念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：（錄旁白形式）
雙："Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"「親愛的，你意識到我們在這兩個相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎？」
B：Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said,他放下報紙，眼睛直直地望著我：
田："So, you want to switch seats?"「因此，你想交換座位嗎？」
（切回場景一，ACD哈哈大笑中，）
B：so, i got it,(對C）maybe you will like the man in the future (笑）it『s your turn
C: oh,no ,he is stupid (不屑）,my title is 「girl,oh little girl」題目是「讓人無奈的孩子」When they're together, my five-year-old daughter and her cousin tend to cause mayhem. (['meɪhem] )one Saturday, I put my foot down.我五歲的女兒和她的表妹在一起的時候，總要招來大亂。一個星期六，我開始抗議了。
（切至場景四，某空地， 拍攝）
： "All right, you two,"No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."「好啦，你們兩個，」我嚴厲地說，「不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許扯淡，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架。」 （轉身要走），
雙：「come on ,MengMeng, let's get dirty . "「來， ，我們來把自己弄臟吧。」
（切回場景一，ABD哈哈笑）
B：OK,we three all did it ,now,(對D）only you left
D:i』m very afraid now,maybe I』ll fail it . Let me try .it』s 「A dollar per point」一分一塊錢A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.一天，教授正在給學生們監考。
（切場景五，至 教室， 拍攝）
D(旁白形式）：He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.他發下試卷，然後回到講台前等待。（ 軒演教授， 坐中間， 演學生，考試時， 左顧右盼很著急，交卷子時， 左看看右看看掏出100元夾在卷子里並且寫了一句話A dollar per point.）Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. "考試結束了，學生們紛紛交回試卷The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."考試結束了，學生們紛紛交回試卷。教授發現一張試卷上別著一張百元鈔票，還有一張紙條寫著：「一分一塊錢。」The next class the professor handed the tests back out. And walk up to the student ，said，第二堂課，教授把試卷都發回學生們手中。走到那個 旁，
田：」here are your test and $64 change「這是你的試卷還有64塊錢的找零。（邱大囧）
（切回場景一，ABC死憋住不笑，各種憋）
D:well,my treat(很無奈）OK，you win……i』ll buy it right now(走開）
（ABC終於放聲大笑，落幕）
原網址 http://www.jiaoke.com/xiaopin/xiaopin_361488.html

㈢ 求英語微電影劇本（5-10分鍾），在線等，不管是否採納，必給好評，求英語大神幫助小弟，感激不盡！

《情感銀行》應該可以。可以依次為原版，修改一下，修改成 學生在學校玩的不亦樂乎，不關心父母，不回家看看之類的適合校園的題材。
媳婦：那你馬上回來Come backright now.
小唐：媳婦，等我結了手裡的這個案子，我就休年假了，你先讓我媽照顧你好不好
Dear,..LetMomlookafteryou.you.all
allright.媳婦：你說的是人話嗎，媽現在心臟病有多嚴重你知道嗎，如果我現在就要生了，是媽能照
顧我還是我能照顧媽，你知道這么多月，我想吃什麼，我從來沒跟媽說過，我就怕她提重東西累著怎麼辦啊
Jerkerk!!YouknowhowseriousMomMom』』sheartdisease.Ifthebabyisbornnow,Momdondon』
』tlookaftermeandthesametome.Duringthesemonths,IneveraskedMomfornothing..小唐：那你給小鳳媳婦打電話
Youcancallxiaofengxiaofeng』
』swife媳婦：人家是你家保姆啊，你什麼事都找人家，你好意思嗎，人家今年結婚你都沒去，你知
道不知道
Yeah!SheisnotyourNanny.AlwaystroubleherIdofeelshame.Andyouareabsenceofherwedding,knowornot.
小唐：你怎麼那麼多事啊，左右都不行Youaresoannoying，satifynothing.媳婦：是我多事還是你忙呀
AmIannoyingoryourbusyness?小唐：我是在忙呀Definitelybusyingnow.
媳婦：我給你說，現在我在給你懷孩子，這不是我一個人的事好嗎
Iamnowpregnantwithyourbaby,whichisnotabusinessofmyown.Allright?
小唐：你別拿懷孩子說事啊，我現在那麼忙，那麼多事，你就干懷孩子這么一件事你都干不好嗎
Don'ttakethebabyforexecuse,.Onlythe
babybirthyouaredoingisnotgood,itgood,it』
』spity!媳婦：你要這么說，這孩子我不生了我不生了
Ifyousayso,thebabyIdondon』』twant,donwant,don』』tgivebirthto.小唐：愛生不生
Uptoyou.
（要錢還是要孩子，我這是在干什麼，瘋了嗎我）(Moneyorbaby,whatIhavadone,amIcrazy)
媳婦：媽，媽
Oh!Mom,Mom,Mom…
…媽：孩子，別難過，他的心裡是有咱們的，他也是身不由己呀Goodkid,notupset.Withusheartinside,Heisalsoinvoluntarily媽：兒子，我是媽媽Son,thisisMom.
小唐：媽，你看看她，我辛辛苦苦在外打拚，還不是為了你們，為了孩子，可他還這么不理解
Mom,,buthealsoisnisn』』twillingtounderstandme.
媽：孩子，媽媽知道你在外很辛苦，工作壓力很大，媽媽和你媳婦都很心疼你，可是，現在我們需要的不是金錢，是真真切切的關心體貼呀。孩子，給自己放個假，回來看看這個始終有親情友情愛情所牽掛的地方吧。
Goodkid,Momknowyouyou』
』reveryhardoutside.Withthegreatpressure,webothloveyou..Kid,takeabreaktocomeback,thereisalwaysthekinship,friendshipandaffectionwithyou.小唐：媽，我知道了Mom,Igetit.
媽：孩子，別忘了在你生命中最重要的是什麼，不要忘了除了工作，還有父母，妻子，和你未出生的孩子。
Kid,.,inadditiontothework,aswellasparents,wives,andyourunbornbaby.
小唐：嗯，媽，我這就回去
Hmmm,Mom,IHmmm,Mom,I』
』llbeback.（我們每個人都有兩個賬戶，在銀行的儲存金錢，在心裡的儲存情感，這兩個賬戶就像沙漏
的兩端，是一種對抗的狀態，。當我們只顧積累金錢的時候，情感就在透支）
(Weallhavetwoaccountsinthebank,onestoresmoney,.,astateofconfrontation.,emotionisoverdraftted...)
（十年前，我來到一個陌生的城市，這個陌生的城市讓我熟悉；十年後，我回到了一個熟悉的城市，這個熟悉的城市讓我陌生。當我們在陌生的城市打拚的時候
，不要忘記，你在熟悉的城市裡，有你白發蒼蒼的父母，等你回家的妻子，還有同你一起長大的摯友）
(Tenyearsago,Icametoastrangecity,.Tenyearslater,Icomebacktoafamiliarcity,.Whenwestruggle
toworkinastrangecity,doncity,don』
』tforget,inafamiliarcity,thereisyourparentswithgrey-haried,.)

（根據職場研究報告，98.3%的職場人因為公工作忙，而不得不減少陪伴家人的時間，我們是否應該仔細思考：工作，到底是為了什麼？不要讓工作阻擋我們回家的腳步，停下來，留住愛）
(,98.3,98.ebusywork..Work,whatismeanfor?Donfor?Don』』tletworkpreventusthehomesteps,pleasestayhere,keepthepreciouslove.)
工作和生活壓力非常大。適當的時候，合理的節制物慾，給自己的心情放個假，回到那個始終有親情友情愛情所牽掛的地方看看，或許你就會有更多的快樂、幸福和動力。這會形成一種激發年輕人更好前行的良性循環。畢竟只有平衡好事業和家庭，這樣才能更好的工作和生活。.Appropriately,reasonable
temperancedesires,abreakforyourmood,,friendshipandaffectionwithyou.Maybeyouwillhavemoreenjoyness,happinessandpower..,.
因為工作犧牲了太多太多本應該有的情感，大學同窗結婚，也許因為工作，我們想，哎，算了吧，有那麼多工作呢，請假又不知道要耽誤多少事兒扣多少錢了。家裡老人過壽，我們想，算了吧，年年都過，今年工作剛開始，今年就不回去了，明年再說吧。。。可是就在這一次次的算了吧中我們與這些人越走越遠，因為我們不知道我們是否錯過了大學同窗最美好也是最需要你祝福的時刻，我們更不知道明年是否還有機會給老人過壽。
.,maybebecauseofthejob,wethink,oh,passedit,there'ssomuchworktodo,.Theolderhavethebirthday,passedit,,Iwillnotgoback,tillnextyear...,becausewedon',,wedon'.
時下，諸多年輕人為了家庭、事業、理想……而紛紛出外打拚，在辛苦忙碌的同時，卻不得不面對工作與家庭的各種現實問題糾葛，上有老、下有小、中間還有老婆的家庭格局，正在受到殘酷的工作壓力和社會現實所逼迫，何去何從，如何家庭工作兼顧都是擺在現在人面前的無法迴避的問題。
Nowadays,,career,
dream...,andinhardbusyatthesametime,,thesandwich,middleandable,wifeoffamilypattern,,wheretogo,.
《情感銀行》中男主人公小唐就是這樣一個代表。他從一個熟悉的城市來到一個陌生的城市，為了能給自己的家庭帶來更富足的生活而不斷努力和拼搏。小唐在繁忙的工作之餘，卻疏忽了對家人的關愛，甚至是在妻子懷孕、母親病重、好友結婚的時候也未能守候在旁。矛盾像一座火山在小唐和他的妻子之間無預兆的爆發，同時引起母親心臟病突發住院……在面對著生活與工作壓力和各種困惑與糾葛，小唐在對家庭的內疚與自責的感情漩渦中激烈的掙扎、彷徨……最終，他選擇了為情感銀行付出努力――回家，同時拋出的情感銀行、情感帳戶也被強烈關注和熱議。

㈣ 誰能給我聖誕節搞笑英語劇本。要20分鍾左右英文版、大概10個人、跪求啊

人物: Narrator: It』s Christmas time. B is rehearsing Christmas songs in the yard for his School Chorus.
A---在睡覺, B---在窗外唱歌.他含蘆後來引來眾人.
場景: A在屋裡.(擺核老檔張桌子,和椅子,趴在桌子上睡)
B: (clear his throat, starts singing) I wish you Merry Christmas , I wish you Merry Christmas, I wish you Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. I wish…

A: (wakes up) what is that noise? (Pretends to open the window)
B: What did you say? I can not hear you and sing at the same time?
A: I want to sleep. I don』t want any singing.
B: What did you say? You want more singing? I will find a friend.
Narrator: B calls a friend C to join him.
B and C:
Jingle bells
jingle bells
jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh……改亂
A: (shouts) I want you to stop singing! You are giving more!(go back to sleep)
B: What did you say? You want more singing? We will find another friend.
Narrator: So B and C call for another friend D.
B and C and D: Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows.

All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Play in any reindeer games…..
A: (shouts and shakes one hand) you must stop singing. I am tired. I can not take much more. (Sleeps)
B: What did you say? You want much more singing? We will find many friends.
Narrator: So B and C and D found more friends to join them.
B and C and D and a group of friends: Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,
Right down Santa Claus lane
Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer
Pullin' on the reins
Bells are ringin', children singin'
All is merry and bright….
A: (shouts and shakes two hands) Stop! Your singing is too loud!
B: loud? Yes, We can sing loud.
Narrator: So they sing very loud.
All the children: O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
How are thy leaves so verdant!
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
How are thy leaves so verdant!

Not only in the summertime,
But even in winter is thy prime.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
How are thy leaves so verdant!
A: (shouts) Please! I want to sleep! I wish that you would all go away!
B: Go away? Why didn』t you say so in the first place?
Narrator: so the children go away and they will sing in another place.
All the children bow to the audience and leave the stage.
A: (goes back to sleep)
The end

㈤ 英語幽默短劇劇本 帶翻譯

旁白(Aside )/介紹（Introction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. 在很久很久以前，有個瘋狂的國度住著一群瘋狂的人，用瘋狂的方式給人們講述著瘋狂的故事。o(∩_∩)o...哈哈Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, 「Yingzheng」. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth. 聞名遐邇的刀客，荊軻先生，被委以刺殺秦始皇嬴政的任務。但最終還是失敗鳥。你想知道當時的情形如何嗎？好，下面的我們將給你呈現當時真實的一幕。Action I 太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (畫外音：It』s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高興狀) Thank u mirror! （面對觀眾） I』m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister? 太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：魔鏡魔鏡告訴我，天下男人誰最美？ (畫外音：是你是你太子丹 太子丹高興狀) 非常感謝，我的魔鏡 （面對觀眾） 我是太子丹，魔鏡告訴我說我是天下最美的男人 但是嬴政老小子嫉妒於我，倘若給他從魔鏡那兒得知了真相，必要追殺於我 。太可怕了，我該咋辦啦？ (向幕里大叫) 我的小弟們呢，哪兒去了？ 阿三(畢恭畢敬) : Honey, I am coming 親耐滴老大，我來也。太子丹：I』ve told you again and again that you should call me 「my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan」!我怎麼告訴你的，以後見到我要喊「我最最漂亮，瀟灑，帥氣，和藹，可愛，機靈和尊敬的太子丹殿下」，你又忘了！阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作殺狀）了解，親耐滴！我有個好主意。我們找個大英雄去刺殺嬴政。太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世紀最需要的是什麼，人才！這句話要跟觀眾交流，最好由觀眾來回答，然後拍阿三肩膀，做贊許狀） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?妙計！那麼誰是最佳人選捏？阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.眼下我有倆在冊人手，一個名曰李莫愁，另一個便是荊軻。明天他們講通過PK來角逐最佳殺手稱號！太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?那行，動作要快，ok？阿三：Yes.著！

㈥ 求助英語小品，五個人演的，要幽默點，謝謝！！

英語搞笑話劇《孔雀東南飛》

作者：佚名 文章來源：本站原創 點擊數：7713 更新時間：2005-11-27

Wanderseveryfivemiles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny』smother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch』smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor』sson(MSforshort)強盜Burglars(ABandC)

Prologue本文轉自：www.coffbar.com小品劇本，簡歷封面，免費電影

(J作被打狀跑上台,內砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI』mhenpecked,butinfact,I』masstrongasatiger,(小聲)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指著上台處的門大聲道)I』mnotafraidofyou!
(內砸出一臉盆,J接住當成盾牌護著頭)Then,I』mafraidofwhom?
-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!!
(內又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)

Act1
(序幕結束時,JM作竊聽狀)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(對門內)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):I』mhere!What』supmum?
JM:I』「mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law」.
L:OK.-in-law,what』sup?
JM:.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.
and……
JM:!
L(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟):Oh,youwantagrandson,don』tyou?(開始解圍裙)Goandaskyour
son.I』mleaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在JM的臉上,下)

Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛線,L拿著鍋鏟上)
L:Mum,I』mback!
LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?
L:–in-law.
LM(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災樂禍的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,,butyoudidnotlisten
tome.Lookatyourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I』mnotinterruptingyou.?And
I』llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor』ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:「Ifyoudaughter
Haven』tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!」Nowyouarefreeagain,I』llgo
andtellhim.(下)
L(驚愕):What?Themayor』sson?-hood?(手中的鍋
鏟掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)

Act3本文轉自：www.coffbar.com小品劇本，簡歷封面，免費電影

(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(邊走邊道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?
(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)Heretheyare!(聞一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來)Oh,I』msohungry!Butthere』snobreakfast!(撿起地上的圍
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgone..
JM(上):Where』smybreakfast?Where』sLunch?Hasn』tshegotupyet?
J:Mum,can』tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬禮):Yesmadam!

Act4
(J開心地走著，忽然跳出來三個強盜)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了A的腳)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一個口袋，掏出1角硬幣):Is1maoenough?
(三強盜暈倒狀，接著三人聚在一邊商量)
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor』.WEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(驚訝):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It』simpossible!
AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven』tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I』vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don』tyou?I』llgo
withyou..
B:Haveyougotanyexperience?
J:No.ButI』vegotthis!(J脫下鞋子從裡面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)

Act5

(轉眼已到了婚禮之期．MS意氣風發用紅綢牽著新娘上，J蓋著紅蓋頭極不情願地被拉上台)
(J和三強盜躍至台中)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree.
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L聽到J的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)
L(驚喜萬分):Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到J的身邊並躲到了的身後)
(MS大怒，揮拳向J打來．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身後的L，L暈倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（揮拳向MS沖去）
(J與MS混戰，JM上，以拐杖擊暈MS)
(J將MS胸前的新郎標志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，關切地問):Honey,howareyou?
L(哭狀):Ihurtalot!
J:Don』tcrybaby.I』llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)
(音樂起 CanYouCelebrate)

㈦ 適合初中二年級演的搞笑英語劇本

搞笑英語話劇劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》
搞笑5人劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》

演員表：
西門吹雪
葉孤城
花滿樓
king
旁白
道具：牛奶兩袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，紙屑若干。
第一幕：決戰紫荊城之顛

旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .

Bird sare dancing in the cold .
Aman is walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y與X相遇．
X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !
Y:Haha, Never mind bay bay.
X:Excuseme， who are you on earth? could you tell me your name?
Y:ha ha ,I won』t change my name no matter what happens. I』m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?
X:I am xi men chui xue.
Y驚訝:Ar, xi men chui xue?
X:Yes,what is wrong?
Y:I heard that you are the besting Martial Arts?
X:Great, you know me !
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don』t kill me! let me go!
X:No, I must kill you !
Y:I don't want to be killed.There are eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to belooked after by me!
X:No way! Because we are fighting now!you know?
Y突然站起冷冷的說：Don't force me!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X搶過牛奶:milk, very good! I like drinking it. how do you know that?
Y:please drink it!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,ha
Y:Do you still want to kill me?
X:Sure, must! milk is milk.
Y(惱怒+冷酷):Very good! very good! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X:I』m sure I won』t!
Y:I must give you a lesson! If I don't beat you this time, you』ll never behave properly! 3-2-1-0!
X捂著肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……
X可憐狀: help! help! Where is the washroom?
Y:What ?
X:Toliet?
Y:What ?
X:The 「WC」?
Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street andturn right when you see acorssing road!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y掏出紙屑吹:This is genuirne snow!
H:Stop!Protecting the environment is abasicobligation!
Y:Who are you?
H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen xi men chui xue?
Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in「WC」 now,ha……
H驚訝:Now you are the best in the world!
Y:You are right!
H:Teriffic! yo uare the one my king looking for! do you want join in us?
Y:Yes,It』s very good.
H:Ok, follow me, Let』s go to see my king!
Y:Ok,Let』s go!
第二幕：無間道
H:My honest ! let me introce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.
K:sit down plese, yegucheng.
H走到Y前，《婚禮進行曲》起，H神甫狀:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold,headache,sair and aids?
Y: Yes,I do.
K: Hua man lou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音樂停）
X唱著上:Only you……(看到戒子) this ring should be mine!
K:But who are you? why should it belong to you?
Y急切: king! dear king!I must go now,my brother is looking for me!huoxi(維語再見)
K:huoxi? What does that mean? It is not English, isn』t it ?
Y:How clever……
X冷酷:yegucheng! come here!I want to tell you some thing!
Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!
X:Forgive me? Why?
Y: Once there was a change before me,I lost it. Ifthe god give me a chance, I』ll tell you「I love you」,If there must be a limited period,I hope it is thousand year!
X:You shall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell thelady』s「WC」!
Y:Ilikegoinglady』s WC .I……I……IthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)
X: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!(我愛你的意思)
K: ayixidailu?What』sthemeaning? whyIalsocan』tunderstandyou?
X:Youarestupid! Itmeans「I love you」.
K:Don』t saythat「you love me」. I』!
X:What? (側耳裝著聽不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(X上去抓住K)
K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou!
X:Howcanyoukillme? haha……
Y:Letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0(X捂著肚子，蹲下)
K: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. Now, I』

haveavacation.
Y:That』s good. butthereisonemorething. canyougivemea MM ?IwanttogoAmericanwithher.
K:ofcouse.! Hahaha……
Y:Hahaha—–
H:Where』ssomewhere?
K:What?
Y:Doyouwanttogolady』s「WC」?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
H頂著搖頭：X,no, no， youcan』tgotoLady』s 「WC」. ! becauseyouareX ! youarethe bestmanofChinesekongfu!
X: whatifI』mthebestintheword? !whyItrymybesttolivebutI』mstillsomiserable ? whencanIgetmyfreedom? mustbethedeadday ? !
K: youareright. . Inthatcase ,whywill you die in such a bad sorrow way !gointo theLady』s WC , thendie , comfortablly ! goahead !
H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! goaway !
K; why ? whydoyouhelphim ! whoacturallyareyou ?
H: myreal name isLuXiaofeng——the wifeofX .I』maspy.
K驚訝: !you—you—YouareLuXiaofeng ? X』wife ?
Y: Ihavealreadyrecognizedyou . atricker ! doyouknow, youarethefirst person who cheated me ! because of you ,Ideeide never believe anyone else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! (輕聲說)Xwilldie ,goandseehim ,please .
H撲倒在X的身邊：X,do』t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope inthe fature and tomorrow is a goodbeginning !
K:what amoving story !I was impressed !
Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
H: life isa progress ,and it is delight that itneedn』t resume !
(H忽然將一把匕首插進Y的心臟，K嚇跑.音樂《再見，警察》起)
Y痛苦狀:don』tleave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please notabandon me !realizethat I』m wrong .help me,I intend to be back ,helpme ,I keyyou ,beg you——help me . I』ll never dothat again !(Y死，音樂停)
（X咳，H撲到身邊，電影《我的父親母親》原聲音樂起）
H: X , oh , no ,you can』t die ,we will go home together .
X:gohome ! ?
H:Tomorrow is another day !evenyou have thelast secondto live,youshould be alive ,not only for me , but for ourlove !
X:doyouwant melivealifeinsuchasorrow way ? ok , ok , Ipromise I willbealive for you .but !youknow, Ihavenot timeleft ,but you have ,promisethatyou will be happy everyday !Youmustdome this honor… promise meyou will survive… that youwillnevergiveup… nomatter what happens… no matter howhopeless… promise me now ,andnever let go of that promise.
H: I promise .
X:Never let go .
H:Ipromise . Iwill never let go ,
X.I」」」」ll never letgo.(X死)
H:be alive !yeah , bealive ! bealivewithout ahendance ! . thereisbeatifulsnowbutinsping , solifecancomefromthebeginning ! （H自刎，艱難的爬到X身邊死.音樂停。）

㈧ 搞笑英語話劇劇本

搞笑7人劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》
演員表：西門吹雪、葉孤城、花滿樓、king、路人、上官雪兒
旁白
道具：牛奶兩袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，紙屑若干。
第一幕：決戰紫荊城之顛
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .
Birds are dancing in the cold .
A man is walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y與X相遇．
X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !
Y:, Never mind baby.
X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?
Y:,I won』t change my name! no matter what happens. I』m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y驚訝:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?
X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don』t kill me! Let me go!
X:No, I must kill you !
Y:I don』t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!
X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?
Y突然站起冷冷的說：Don』t force me!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X搶過牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?
Y:please drink it!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks,
Y:Do you still want to kill me ?
X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(惱怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X:I』m sure I won』t!
Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don』t beat you this time, you』ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!
X捂著肚子，蹲下（做痛苦狀）：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit
（一人路過，x起身跑過去）
X可憐狀: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .
Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y:byebye (以勝利者的語氣，轉頭,看見 花滿樓)
Y:Who are you?
H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in 「WC」 .
H驚訝:Now you are the best in the world !
Y:You are right !
H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my king,he will give what you want.
Y:Yes,It』s very good.
H:Ok, follow me, Let』s go to see my king!
第二幕：無間道
H:My dearest ! let me introce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.
K:sit down plese, yegucheng.
Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?
King:yes,I will.
Y:That』s good. Can you give me a MM ?
K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……
Y:of course.
美女出場
M:hello，帥鍋..
K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let』s have a ritual.
H走到Y前，《婚禮進行曲》起，H神甫狀:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?
Y: Yes,I do.
K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音樂停）
X唱著上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!
K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?
Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.
X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!
Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!
X:Forgive you? Why ?
Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I』ll tell you 「 I love you 」 , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!
X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady』s 「WC」!
Y:I like going lady』s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)
X:milk?I love you.
K:Don』t say that 「you love me」. I』ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !
X:What? (側耳裝著聽不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(X上去抓住K)
K:Fuck you. I must kill you!
X:How can you kill me? haha……
Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂著肚子，蹲下)
M: oh,what happened?（看著X，做驚嚇狀）are you ok?（跑到西門吹雪身邊）
Y :do you want to go to wc?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.
M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !
K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?
M: actually,I』m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue.
K驚訝: !you—you—You are X』lover?
Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(輕聲說)let me tell you,Xwill die.
M撲倒在X的身邊：X,do』t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning !
K:what a moving story ! I was impressed !
Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn』t resume !
(M忽然將一把匕首插進Y的心臟，K嚇跑.音樂《再見，警察》起)
Y痛苦狀:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音樂停)
（X咳，H撲到身邊，電影《我的父親母親》原聲音樂起）
M: X , oh , no ,you can』t die ,we will go home together .
X:go home ! ?
M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.
X: promise me,you』ll get on well,and you』ll never let go.
M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,
M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !
—來自於網路

㈨ 搞笑的英語短劇

送個兩個 ，你自己選一個，第一個比較搞笑 ，第二個比較簡單 你自己看著辦 ，但願有你喜歡的 ！

英語搞笑話劇《孔雀東南飛》

Wander severy five miles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny』smother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch』smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor』sson(MSforshort)強盜Burglars(ABandC)

Prologue本文轉自：www.coffbar.com小品劇本，簡歷封面，免費電影

(J作被打狀跑上台,內砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)
J:Everybody says that I'm henpecked,but in fact,I』m as strong as a tiger,(小聲)while my wife is WuSong.
(指著上台處的門大聲道)I』m not afraid of you!
(內砸出一臉盆,J接住當成盾牌護著頭)Then,I』m afraid of whom?
My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me,
smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell(地獄)! (內又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中J)
MyGod!Who can help me?(下)

Act1
(序幕結束時,JM作竊聽狀)
JM(拄拐棍上):I can!
(對門內)Lunch!Lunch!Where are you?
L(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):I』m here!What』s up mum?
JM:I『ve told you again and again that you should call me「my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law」.
L:OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what』s up?
JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly.You have been so rude,so brusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Never interrupt me!
L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all day long,cooking and washing.I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and cks and chicken and……
JM:But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!
L(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟):Oh,you want a grandson,don』tyou?(開始解圍裙)Go and ask your son.I』m leaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在JM的臉上,下)

Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛線,L拿著鍋鏟上)
L:Mum,I』m back!
LM:You are back?Why?What happened?
L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
LM(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災樂禍的神情):See!I have already told you!When you insisted on
marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen to me.Look at yourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Never interrupt me!
L:Mum,I』m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK? And
I』ll marry whom ever you want me to.
LM(大喜):Nice girl!Just now,I met the mayor』s son in the market.He said:「If your daughter Haven『t been married,I really really want to marry her!」Now you are free again,I』ll go and tell him.(下)
L(驚愕):What?The mayor』s son?The most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的鍋鏟掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done (下)

Act3本文轉自：

(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(邊走邊道):Lunch! Lunch !Where are my socks? (走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)Here they are!(聞一下) Er!How smelly!They are still
dirty! (突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來)Oh,I』m so hungry!But there』s no breakfast!(撿起地上的圍 裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now
she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself.
JM(上):Where』s my breakfast?Where』s Lunch?Hasn』t she got up yet?
J:Mum,can』t you remember?Lunch has gone!
JM(沉吟刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,a son without a wife is useless.Lunch is a nice
girl,go and take her back!
J(立正敬禮):Yes madam!

Act4
(J開心地走著，忽然跳出來三個強盜)
A:Hey you!Stop and Listen to us!
The road is built by me!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)
B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)
C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了A的腳)
AB&C:Give us all your money!
J(搜遍了每一個口袋，掏出1角硬幣):Is 1mao enough?
(三強盜暈倒狀，接著三人聚在一邊商量)
A:What bad luck!This guy is broken!
B:If we can not rob any money today,we will have nothing to eat tonight!
C:I heard that the mayor』s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lan next month.WE can go and rob the wedding!
A&B:Good idea!
J(驚訝):What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It』s impossible!
AB&C:Why?A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple!
J:But Lunch is my wife!We haven』t got divorced yet!
(突然有了主意)I』ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don』t you?I』ll go
with you.You take the money and I take the bride.
B:Have you got any experience?
J:No.But I』ve got this!(J脫下鞋子從裡面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)

Act5

(轉眼已到了婚禮之期．MS意氣風發用紅綢牽著新娘上，J蓋著紅蓋頭極不情願地被拉上台)
(J和三強盜躍至台中)
ABC&J:Hey you!Stop and listen to us!
A:The road is built by me!
B:And I planted one tree.
C:If you want to go by this street---
J:Give us all your money!
(L聽到J的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)
L(驚喜萬分):Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到J的身邊並躲到了的身後)
(MS大怒，揮拳向J打來．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身後的L，L暈倒)
J(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!（揮拳向MS沖去）
(J與MS混戰，JM上，以拐杖擊暈MS)
(J將MS胸前的新郎標志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，關切地問):Honey,how are you?
L(哭狀):I hurt a lot!
J:Don』t cry baby.I』ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Wait for me! (跑下)
(音樂起 Can You Celebrate)

2、英語短劇：小兔子乖乖
時間：陽光明媚的星期天早晨

地點：鳥語花香的動物王國

人物：Little Duck，Miss Cat， Miss Rabbit，Mr Dog

旁白：Little Duck要去看望外婆。一路上他又唱又跳，高興極了。在小河邊，他碰到了Miss Cat。

Duck：（很好奇）Hello，Miss Cat．Whatre you doing？

Cat：（急得抓耳撓腮）Hello，Little Duck．Theres a big fish in the river．Im hungry，but I cant get it．

Duck：Dont worry．Let me help you．

（Little Duck跳進水裡，一會兒就幫Miss Cat抓到了魚。）

Duck：Here is the fish for you，Miss Cat．Have a good meal．

Cat：Thank you，Little Duck．You are so kind．

Duck：Thats all right，Miss Cat．I must go now．Im going to my grandmothers home．Bye-bye！

Cat：Bye-bye！

（Little Duck繼續趕路。忽然他看到Miss Rabbit躺在草地上，連忙跑過去。）

Rabbit：（躺在草地上）Oh，Little Duck．I run too fast and my leg is broken．I cant stand up and I cant walk．

Duck：Dont worry．Let me help you．

（Little Duck拿出一條手帕幫Miss Rabbit包紮好傷口，然後扶著她回家。）

Duck：Dontworry，Miss Rabbit．Youll getwellsoon．

Rabbit：Yes，I will．Thank you，Little Duck．Its so kind of you．

Duck：Not at all，Miss Rabbit．But I must go now．Im going to my grandmothers home．Good-bye！

Rabbit：Good-bye！

（Little Duck唱著歌又開始上路了，走著走著，他看到Mr Dog坐在家門口，看上去非常著急。）

Duck：Good morning，Mr Dog．You look worried．What can I do for you？

Dog：Oh，good morning，Little Duck．I got a letter from my friend，Mr Cock．ButIcantread and Idontknow what he wants me to do．

Duck：Dont worry，Mr Dog．Let me help you．

（Mr Dog笑呵呵地把信遞給Little Duck，Little Duck很仔細地將信的內容讀給Mr Dog聽。）

Dog：（滿意地笑）Thank you，Little Duck．Its really very kind of you．

Duck：Youre welcome，Mr Dog．（抬頭看看掛在半空中的太陽）But I must go now．Im going to see my grandmother．

Dog：（摸摸Little Duck的頭）Dont worry，Little Duck．Let me send you to your grandmothers home．

Duck：Thank you，Mr Dog．

（Mr Dog馱著Little Duck一路歡歌笑語向外婆家跑去……）

㈩ 英語微電影劇本

我覺得可以找《威尼斯商人》的某些經典橋段，簡單，朗朗上口，適合你們的人數組成。而且你只需稍作修改，並不需要浪費很多時間去寫劇本。這是中英字幕的視頻網址http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/CC6UnTNwEck/
附上劇本：
The Merchant of Venice (II)

原文：

The Merchant of Venice（II）
PART 1
D: Have mercy on Antonio, Shylock. Do not be so bitter.
S: I've promised to take my pound of flesh. If you do not let me have it, that will be a sign of weakness and no one will trust your laws any more. The greatness of Venice will soon be lost. Antonio is my enemy, and I hate him.
B: Do all men kill the things they do not love?

譯文：

第一部分
公爵：寬恕安東尼奧吧，夏洛克，別這樣懷恨在心。
夏洛克：我說過一定要拿走我應得的那一磅肉。要是您不準許我得到它，那將是一種軟弱的表現，人們將不再信你們的法律了。威尼斯不久就會喪失它的偉大。安東尼奧是我的敵人，我恨他。
巴薩尼奧：難道所有的人都要鏟除他們所不愛的東西嗎？

A: It is useless trying to argue with Shylock. Don't wait any longer. Pass judgement on me and give Shylock what he wants.
B: I'll pay you six thousand cats for the three thousand cats that Antonio borrowed.
S: If you offered me six times what you have just offered, I would still take my pound of flesh. Give me my pound of flesh!
D: Let us be calm, gentlemen. Shylock, how can you hope for mercy yourself when you show none?
S: I have done nothing wrong and I fear no judgement. I desire my pound of flesh.
As the Duke is wondering what to do, Nerissa, dressed like a lawyer's clerk, arrives with a letter from the famous lawyer whom Portia has visited. While the Duke is talking to Nerissa, Shylock gets ready to cut his pound of flesh from Antonio.
Then the letter is read out for all in the court to hear. "I am very ill. When your letter reached me, I had with me a .learned young doctor from Rome. I told him about the quarrel between Shylock and Antonio. We studied many lawbooks and he knows what I would say. I ask you to let him stand in my place and give judgement. He is young, but I never knew so young a body with so wise a head."
After the letter has been read out to the court, Portia, in lawyer's clothes, enters the room and takes her seat as judge.

安東尼奧：跟夏洛克講理是沒有用的。別再等待了。對我宣判吧，把夏洛克想要得到的東西給他。
巴薩尼奧：我將付給你六千塊錢，用來歸還安東尼奧借的那三千塊錢。
夏洛克：即使你願意我六倍於你剛才提出的錢數，我仍然要拿我應得的那一磅肉。把那一磅肉判給我！
公爵：先生們，請安靜。夏洛克，如果你不寬恕別人，你自己怎能希望得到別人的寬恕呢？
夏洛克：我並沒有做錯事，我不怕審判。我要求給我應得的那一磅肉。
正當公爵不知道應該怎麼辦的時候，尼莉莎打扮成一個律師的書記員，帶著鮑西婭剛拜訪過的那位著名的律師的一封信，來到法庭。當公爵與尼莉莎談話時，夏洛克准備好要從安東尼奧身上割下他應得的一磅肉。
這時，當庭宣讀了律師的信。"我重病纏身。收到你的信時，我正同一位從羅馬來的很有學問的年輕博士在一起。我把夏洛克與安東尼奧之間的爭執對他講了。我們研究了很多法典，因此他知道我想要說的話。我請您讓他替我作出判決。他很年輕，但是，我還從來不知道有這么年輕又這么聰明的人。"
這封信當庭宣讀之後，鮑西婭穿著律師的衣服進屋來了。她作為法官就座了。

PART 2
D: Greetings, learned judge! I do not envy you your job. This is a most troublesome case.
P: Greetings! Please be seated. Are you Antonio, and is this your agreement with Shylock?
A: It is.
P: Then Shylock must be merciful. He must have mercy on Antonio.
S: Why must I have mercy on him? Tell me that!
P: Mercy brings good. Mercy falls like the gentle rain from the sky upon the earth. It blesses those who give it, and those who receive it. We should learn to show mercy to others. Do you still ask for this pound of flesh? S: I ask for what is mine by law!
B: I offer ten times the money that Antonio has borrowed. Please change the law a little so that we may save Antonio.
P: Use your head a little, sir! We cannot change a law. If one law is changed, then people will later want to change other laws.
S: Oh, wise young judge!
P: Let me see this agreement, this promise of Antonio to you.
S: Here it is.
P: I see. According to the law, Shylock may have a pound of flesh to be cut off by him nearest to Antonio's heart. Be merciful! Let me destroy this paper.--No? Then, Antonio, be ready. And Shylock, take your knife and prepare to do the deed.

公爵；您好，博學的法官！我並不羨慕您的職業。這是一個最麻煩的案子。
鮑西婭：您好！請坐下。你叫安東尼奧嗎？這是你與夏洛克簽訂的借約嗎？
安東尼奧；是的。
鮑西婭：那麼，夏洛克可得大發慈悲才是。他可得寬恕安東尼奧啊。
夏洛克：為什麼我必得寬恕他呢？請告訴我這一點！
鮑西婭：慈悲帶來益處。慈悲像甘露從天空中降到地面上，它不但賜福施予的人，而且賜福於受施的人。我們應該學會寬恕他人。你還要求得到這一磅肉嗎？
夏洛克：我要求得到根據法律屬於我的東西。
巴薩尼奧：我願出十倍於安東尼奧的借款，請您把法律稍為變更一下，使我們能夠救出安東尼奧的生命。
鮑西婭：請用你的腦袋想一想，先生。我們不能變更法律，要是變更了一條法律，那麼人們還會要變更別的法律的。
夏洛克：噢，聰明年輕的法官啊！
鮑西婭；讓我看一看借約，就是安東尼奧向你許下的諾言。
夏活克：給您。
鮑西婭：我明白了。根據法律，夏洛克可以得到一磅肉，由他從最靠近安東尼奧心臟的部位割下來。慈悲一點吧！讓我撕毀這張借約吧。不能撕？那麼，安東尼奧，你做好准備；夏洛克，拿起你的刀子准備割肉吧。

S: Oh, learned judge! Oh, wise young man!
P: Have you brought anything to weigh the flesh?
S: Yes. I have everything ready here.
P: Do you have a doctor, Shylock, to stop Antonio's blood?
B: That fox!
P: Do you wish to say anything, Antonio?
A: Only a little. Goodbye Bassanio. Don't be sad for me. Tell your wife about me and how much I loved you. If Shylock cuts deep enough, I'll pay him back with all my heart.
B: Let me take you in my arms and say goodbye. I love you more than my own life, more than my wife, and more than all the world. (He cries.)
P: Your wife would not be pleased to hear you say that.
S: We are wasting time.
P: Take your pound of flesh! I declare the court allows it and the law gives it to you.

Shylock advances towards Antonio and prepares to use his knife.
P: Wait! There is something else. Antonio has promised to give you a pound of his flesh. But he has not promised to give you any of his blood. If you let one drop of his blood fall, you will lose all your land and all your money.
S: Is that the law?
P: That is the law. You wanted justice, so you shall get justice, more than you wanted. : I will take the money. Give me three more than Antonio borrowed from me.

夏洛克；噢，博學的法官！噢，聰明的年輕人！
鮑西婭：你帶來了稱肉的器具嗎？
夏洛克：是的。我把一切都准備好了。 鮑西婭：夏洛克，你是否請了醫生來給安東尼奧止血呢？
夏洛克：借約上可沒有這一條。
巴薩尼奧：你這只狐狸！
鮑西婭：安東尼奧，你還想說什麼嗎？
安東尼奧：我只想說一點。巴薩尼奧，永別了。不要為我悲傷。把我的情況告訴你的妻子，對她說我多麼愛你。要是夏洛克割得夠深的話，我就要以整個心償還他的債了。
巴薩尼奧：讓我擁抱你一下，說聲再見吧。我愛你勝過愛我自己的生命、自己的妻子和整個世界。（他哭了。）
鮑西婭：你的妻子聽到你那麼說是會不高興的。
夏洛克：我們是在浪費時間。
鮑西婭：割走你要的那一磅肉嗎！我宣布法庭許可你（這樣做），法律（把它）判給你。

（夏洛克走向安東尼奧，准備動他的刀子。）
鮑西婭：且慢！事情還沒完。安東尼奧許諾給你他身上的一磅肉。但是他並沒有答應給你他身上的任何一滴血。要是你讓他身上的血流下一滴，你將失去你所有的土地和財產。
夏洛克：法律上是這樣說的嗎？
鮑西婭：這就是法律。你要求公正，那麼就讓你得到公正嗎，比你要求的還要多。
夏洛克：我願意要錢。請給我加三倍還給我安東尼奧向我借的錢。

B: Here it is. (He cries out, full of joy.)
P: Wait! Shylock would not take the money earlier. All he wanted was right to be done. That is all he can have now. you must cut off one pound of flesh, no more, no less. And not one drop of blood must fall.
Shylock turns and starts to leave the court.
P: Wait, Shylock. The law of Venice says that if anyone tries to kill or murder any citizen of Venice, everything that he owns shall be taken away from him. One half of his money and his goods shall be given to the city of Venice and the other half shall be given to the person he has tried to kill. His life shall be at the mercy of the Duke. therefore, go down on your knees and beg the Duke for mercy.
S: Good sir. I beg for mercy and beg your pardon..
D: I shall not have you killed. But as your punishment, half of your money is now Antonio's. You must give the other half to the city of Venice.
S: Take my life too! My money and goods are as dear to me as life itself. They are my only comfort. When you take those away from me, you also take my life.
A: I shall be happy to give up my part of Shylock's money. Shylock must promise to leave the money upon his death to his daughter and her husband.
S: I promise. Let me go home now. I am not well.

相關鏈接： The Merchant of Venice(I)

巴薩尼奧：錢在這兒。（他滿懷喜悅地喊了出來。）
鮑西婭：別忙！夏洛克先前已經拒絕要錢了。他所要求的只是公正。這是他現在所能得到的一切。你必須割下整一磅肉，不準多也不準少。而且不準流一滴血。
（夏洛克轉過身，要離開法庭。）
鮑西婭：等一等，夏洛克。威尼斯的法律規定任何企圖殺害或謀害任何威尼斯公民的人，他所有的一切必須被沒收。他的錢和財產的一半必須給威尼斯城，另一半必須給他企圖殺害的人。他的生命全憑公爵處置。因此你快快跪下請求公爵開恩吧。
夏洛克：仁慈的先生，我乞求你的饒恕和原諒。
公爵：我將不處死你，但是作為對你的懲罰，你的財產的一半現在是安東尼奧的了。你必須把另一半交給威尼斯城。
夏洛克：把我的命也拿走吧！我的錢財對我就像生命一樣寶貴。它們是我唯一的安慰。你們沒收了我的財物，也就是要了我的命。
安東尼奧：我將高興地放棄我應得的夏洛克財產的那一半。夏洛克必須答應在他死後把這筆財產留給他的女兒和女婿。
夏洛克：我答應。現在讓我回家吧。我不舒服。